eyelinerlyrics:

LET ME TEACH YOU A THING ABOUT LOVEBUGS.

THEY SOUND CUTE. THEY ARE NOT. THEY COME TO FLORIDA EVERY SUMMER. THEY ARE SIMILAR TO HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS IN THAT THEY GET IN YOUR WAY, THEY ARE SUPER SLOW, AND ALL THEY DO IS FORNICATE.

OH WELL “THAT’S NOT TOO BAD” 

THINK AGAIN WHEN YOU’RE SLOUGHING THEIR GUTS OFF YOUR CAR, BUDDY

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

fuckingflorida:

Three words: Family Auto Mart.  

it’s funny that you submitted this now because just about an hour ago i couldn’t stop saying “FAAAAAAAAAAMILY AUTTOO MARRT”

oldflorida:

Seminole County’s beloved Senator Cypress Tree, burned down by a meth addict in 2012.

mspacacia:

In Florida we don’t say “i love you” we say “I’ll have an alligator hurricane beach party with a double side of humidity. oh no is it lovebug season? why are they fucking everywhere??? get them out of my hair” which roughly translates to “dont live in florida” which i think is beautiful.

fuckingflorida:

nothing says good old florida like walking outside and being hit with what feels like a wall of heat

on the news they just showed a cop standing on his car pointing an assault rifle at an alligator that ended up in a neighborhood

he ended up shooting the gator

with an assault rifle???

he didn’t even manage to kill it so they called a trapper

why didn’t they call the trapper to begIN WITH TO RELOCATE IT

instead they let it sit there in pain and stress for who knows how long

sonofabitch gud job guys a+ u did a thing

letsfeelreckless:

ofmiceandbren:

crazyfilipino:

Guess I’ll kill myself before they kill me

why is there a perfect gif for everything hahah

queenoakenshield:

bellsandbones:

atalantaflails:

opticoverload:

Fireflies on the Ichetucknee River, Florida

I love my fucked up state

same.

fucking florida man